{"id":382,"date":"2018-11-01T08:55:24","date_gmt":"2018-11-01T15:55:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/?p=382"},"modified":"2019-04-04T09:21:23","modified_gmt":"2019-04-04T16:21:23","slug":"hsps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/2018\/11\/01\/hsps\/","title":{"rendered":"Living as an HSP"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>I&#8217;m a HSP, for better or worse.\u00a0 I found this article to be very true.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<div class=\"post-img\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"attachment-laurel-full-thumb wp-post-image\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?resize=1150%2C701&amp;ssl=1\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1150px) 100vw, 1150px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?w=1500&amp;ssl=1 1500w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?resize=300%2C183&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?resize=768%2C468&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?resize=1024%2C624&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?resize=1150%2C701&amp;ssl=1 1150w\" alt=\"A highly sensitive person\" width=\"304\" height=\"185\" data-attachment-id=\"491\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/things-you-should-know-about-highly-sensitive-people\/highlysensitiverefuge-com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?fit=1500%2C914&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1500,914\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"9 Things You Should Know About Highly Sensitive People\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?fit=300%2C183&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/06\/HighlySensitiveRefuge.com-things-to-know-about-highly-sensitive-people.jpg?fit=1024%2C624&amp;ssl=1\" \/><\/div>\n<div class=\"post-header \">\n<ul class=\"cust\">\n<li class=\"by-author\">BY\u00a0<a title=\"Posts by Christa Sterken\" href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/author\/christa-sterken\/\" rel=\"author\">CHRISTA STERKEN<\/a>\u00a0\/<\/li>\n<li class=\"cat\"><a href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/category\/relationships\/\" rel=\"category tag\">RELATIONSHIPS<\/a>\u00a0\/<\/li>\n<li class=\"date\">JUNE 20, 2018<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h1>9 Things You Should Know About Highly Sensitive People<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"post-entry \">\n<p>The first inklings that I was different became apparent to me as a small girl. Of course, a young child can\u2019t put into words \u2014 nor even understand \u2014 their own inner workings. But those formative years hinted at what life would be like as\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/\">a highly sensitive person<\/a>:\u00a0<em>constantly misunderstood<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Extraordinarily sensitive, constantly assessing, quietly observing, and absorbing emotions that weren\u2019t mine to carry. Those are pretty much the definition of\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/what-is-highly-sensitive-person\/\">what a highly sensitive person\u00a0<em>is<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Highly sensitive people are finally coming out into the open and sharing what makes them tick in a very public setting \u2014 the internet. Their courage inspires me, because frankly, it\u2019s really scary to be transparent about the very things that others often use against you:<\/p>\n<p><em>Stop being so sensitive.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Suck it up.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Why can\u2019t you just let it go?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Ugh, you\u2019re so emotional!<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Who cares about that?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Quit whining.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You can see the conflict\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/highly-sensitive-child-needs-to-hear\/\">for a child<\/a>\u00a0who grows up feeling everything in a very deep way. A \u201cmore\u201d child. A child who thinks there\u2019s something \u201cwrong\u201d with her. Why isn\u2019t she like everyone else? Why\u00a0<em>is<\/em>\u00a0she so emotional?<\/p>\n<p>Turns out, it wasn\u2019t anyone\u2019s fault, and there was nothing wrong with me. I just didn\u2019t know yet what it means to be highly sensitive.<\/p>\n<h2>Highly Sensitive People Are Misunderstood<\/h2>\n<p>Do you\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/secrets-dating-highly-sensitive-person\/\">love a highly sensitive person<\/a>? Let\u2019s clarify a few things about HSPs so we can see them with fresh eyes.<\/p>\n<p>Highly sensitive people are not the same as emotionally needy, whiny, complainers. They aren\u2019t victims, and they\u2019re not making up problems just to get attention. We all know people like that, but there are key differences:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Victims are focused on themselves, while\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/anxiety-highly-sensitive-person\/\">HSPs are often focused on others<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Whiners want all the attention, but HSPs don\u2019t.<\/li>\n<li>Complainers want to vent, but HSPs want to fix (although it might not seem that way at first, because we may be externally processing, but we are looking to find \u2014 and be \u2014 a solution).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Chances are you fall into one of two camps: Either you are a highly sensitive person, and you\u2019re astounded to know that you aren\u2019t the only one, you aren\u2019t abnormal, and your \u201ccurse\u201d is actually a gift.<\/p>\n<p>Or, you love someone who is an HSP, and you\u2019d like to better understand these complex, amazing humans. Let\u2019s dive in!<\/p>\n<h2>What You Should Know About Highly Sensitive People<\/h2>\n<h3>1. Our feelings really are that intense.<\/h3>\n<p>HSPs don\u2019t get to choose\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/highlysensitiverefuge.com\/highly-sensitive-person-felt-too-much\/\">how strong their emotions are<\/a>. Trust me, if they could, they would. They\u2019re often fighting an internal battle to discern if their feelings are accurate or flawed. Highly sensitive people feel things with\u00a0<em>wild<\/em>\u00a0depth, both the good and the bad.<\/p>\n<h3>2. We need plenty of downtime to function at our best.<\/h3>\n<p>Similar to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/introvertdear.com\/\">introverts<\/a>\u00a0(although HSPs can be either introverted or extroverted), highly sensitive people get tapped out quicker than others. A weekend away with the girls?\u00a0<em>Woohoo<\/em>, we might think \u2014 until 8 p.m. Then, we are d.o.n.e. Don\u2019t take it personally if we need time alone to recharge our energy. Our brains fight to\u00a0<em>ever<\/em>stop thinking, and our emotions are often on high alert (even in great times). Time to decompress allows us to be all-in with full enthusiasm for the next event. In other words,\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.christasterken.com\/the-best-things-about-life-are-written-in-the-margins\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">we need quiet<\/a>\u00a0to be able to cope tomorrow.<\/p>\n<h3>3. Feel free to be more vulnerable, because we see through you anyway.<\/h3>\n<p>I almost hesitate to share this one, but I feel it\u2019s very important. HSPs see through deception, even if it isn\u2019t meant to harm anyone. Sometimes we struggle to learn to temper this sensitivity; not making you feel too exposed, but letting you know that we know when\u00a0<em>you\u2019re not okay<\/em>. And if something is meant to scam us? HSPs probably aren\u2019t your best target audience!<\/p>\n<h3>4. We\u2019re fighting not to absorb your bad mood.<\/h3>\n<p>When people around us are grumpy, abusive, or just plain jerks, we\u2019re like, \u201cWonder twin powers, activate \u2014 form a protective barrier!\u201d If you treat us poorly with your mood, we\u2019ll forgive you, but give us some time. You might shake off the tension quickly, but remember that it has jumped onto us, like an uninvited virus, and we need extra time to regain calm.<\/p>\n<h3>5. Sometimes we feel like we\u2019re drowning in other people\u2019s problems.<\/h3>\n<p>HSPs battle to let go of things they can\u2019t fix, especially when it comes to other people\u2019s problems. Logically, we know that it\u2019s not our burden, but because we love so deeply, we struggle. If you have a deep burden, an addiction, or loss, we\u2019re trying to love you through it without drowning under it.<\/p>\n<h3>6. We absorb the emotional states of others.<\/h3>\n<p>Similar to the last point, what often isn\u2019t talked about is how HSPs\u00a0<em>feel<\/em>\u00a0the people around us \u2014 even strangers. For example, to say that I\u2019m highly attuned to others is an understatement. When I walk by people, sometimes I can just \u201cfeel\u201d them. While I can\u2019t explain this, I can tell you that it freaks me out. This is the life of an HSP. We feel not only our own stuff, but many, many other people\u2019s stuff too. Even when it\u2019s unwanted, we still receive it as input.<\/p>\n<h3>7. We don\u2019t just feel and forget.<\/h3>\n<p>Feeling other people\u2019s pain is a mixed blessing. While it can be devastating, it is that same perception that helps us to love others so well. And for that alone, most HSPs gladly accept the whole package.<\/p>\n<h3>8. Overwhelm is a big deal.<\/h3>\n<p>We might not enjoy large crowds, loud experiences (everything is \u201cmore\u201d to us, even sound), or other events that feel stressful. It doesn\u2019t mean we don\u2019t want to enjoy them with you, but please, don\u2019t mock us for needing to step back. We aren\u2019t crazy\/nuts\/weird\/too sensitive. We absorb the world around us in high-def, all the time, and it can make us very anxious if we don\u2019t have a cushion of peace.<\/p>\n<h3>9. Highly sensitive people are amazing.<\/h3>\n<p>These unique characteristics are a gift if you\u2019re willing to\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.christasterken.com\/confessions-about-an-imperfect-and-beautiful-life\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">take a step back and observe<\/a>. HSPs tend to be loyal to a fault, compassionate, generous, selfless, tenacious for the underdog, highly imaginative, and enthusiastic. We experience the world in full color, with vivid sound and glorious detail.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes highly sensitive people can be a little confusing, but if you\u2019ll compromise and help us maintain our necessary boundaries, you\u2019re in for a treat. You\u2019re in for an adventure with a life enthusiast. And it will be a delightful ride.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>It&#8217;s not easy being an HSP.\u00a0 While the above makes it sound grand, some days, it&#8217;s very hard to face the world, especially when you are all alone without emotional or physical support.\u00a0 It can be quite debilitating.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div><p align=center><font color=\"#FF0000\">Thank you <font color=\"#FF6347\">for reading <font color=\"#FFA500\">today's post. \r\n<font color=\"#FFD700\">Have <font color=\"00FF00\">an <font color=\"40E0D0\">InterStellar <font color=\"800080\">Day! <font color=\"FE09FF\"> ~PrP   <\/p><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m a HSP, for better or worse.\u00a0 I found this article to be very true.\u00a0\u00a0 BY\u00a0CHRISTA STERKEN\u00a0\/ RELATIONSHIPS\u00a0\/ JUNE 20, 2018 9 Things You Should Know About Highly Sensitive People The first inklings that I was different became apparent to &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/2018\/11\/01\/hsps\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,75,32],"tags":[145,144,146],"class_list":["post-382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-consciousness","category-people","category-society","tag-highly-sensitive-people","tag-hsps","tag-human-characteristics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=382"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.orderlyrandomness.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}